When a Raven Rambles & Complains

 Where do I even begin? I've tried writing this before but the words just don't want to flow. I don't even have a subject to write about. I don't want to write about my hospital stay or my heart attack. Twitter already knows all about that. So does Hiero. So what do I write about? I've written about haunted houses that I've been in. I've written about my lack of self-confidence and self-esteem. I'm at a loss here.


I haven't been following my practice. I haven't been praying or meditating. I haven't been making offerings. I feel so bad about this. I don't even know what to offer. Given my current circumstances I don't know if I can meditate. I'm going to try though. I have to do something to get back into things. Otherwise I'll start getting imposter syndrome really bad.


The speakers on my laptop don't work now. And my headphones aren't reliable anymore. So that makes things difficult as well. There's always my phone but that tends to eat up my battery. I really need to get some Bluetooth headphones but those can be pricey. I mention this because I found some interesting Egyptian meditation music. One is dedicated to Thoth. I'd like to try meditating to that if I can get my headphones to work.


I haven't posted my Tarot/Oracle card draws in quite awhile. That doesn't mean that I haven't been drawing them. I have a new Oracle deck that I just love: The Halloween Oracle by Stacey DeMarco. I've also been pulling from Moonology Oracle by Yasmin Boland. I've been getting some interesting pulls. Perhaps I should start posting them again. It might help me get back into things.


I do think my biggest problem right now has been that hospital stay and finding out that I had another heart attack. I obviously don't feel like myself at this time, but I'll get back to myself sooner or later. My psychiatrist increased the dosage of two of my meds. That should help me deal with things. My anxiety and depression were getting really bad. Quite understandably so, given the situation. 


I'll be okay though. I've survived horrible things before. I'll survive this.

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