This is My Path and I'm Not Going Back
I should preface this by stating that I was raised to be Catholic.
I remember when I was a child I used to pretend to be a Witch in a coven. Mysterious cloaked figures gathering in a circle. I had no idea what they really did but that's what I was wanting to be. Those thoughts ended up in my subconscious. I didn't know that Witches were real.
When I was older I saw Def Leppard's video for Bringing on the Heartbreak. This inspired thoughts again of Witches and covens. I wasn't able at that time to do anything about those thoughts. Books were not readily available.
When I went to college my circumstances changed. My Dad bought me my first tarot deck. I don't know if he really knew what this was. I met Liz and Chan and some others. Liz taught me what she could. Chan took me to a metaphysical shop where I bought a necklace/amulet and a book. My first book on the Craft was Starhawk's "The Spiral Dance". For whatever reason things went on hold for me again.
Several years later I again got the Calling. It was a Barbie doll of all things. I had a remote control stand that looked like 2 hands. And I had posed my doll in the hands. It reminded me of The High Priestess tarot card. And I knew what I wanted to be. I read some books. I don't recall what they were. And I initiated myself as Wiccan. I had also read about the "year and a day" period. Things have not gone as planned.
Everytime I start to show any dedication to this path, something happens. And it probably doesn't help me that I am Solitary. I have no one to guide me. So I have been on my "year and a day" for over 20 years. I still feel like a novice. That's not to say that I haven't learned anything. I have learned. I know that Wicca is not entirely for me. I'm more eclectic. I pull in various concepts from various sources. And I have realized that I am a Witch.
I am determined to do things right. This is my Path. It's been interrupted far too many times. Admittedly my current situation doesn't lend itself to my needs. I cannot have an altar in a homeless shelter. I cannot create a Circle. And I can't go outside late at night to Draw Down the Moon. Curfew is at 9:00, though there is a smoke break at 10:00. I don't smoke but I could at least go outside, weather permitting.
If things go as planned, and I must believe they will, then my family will be out of here soon. Then I will be able to worship how I want. I am determined that I can and will follow this Path.
I remember when I was a child I used to pretend to be a Witch in a coven. Mysterious cloaked figures gathering in a circle. I had no idea what they really did but that's what I was wanting to be. Those thoughts ended up in my subconscious. I didn't know that Witches were real.
When I was older I saw Def Leppard's video for Bringing on the Heartbreak. This inspired thoughts again of Witches and covens. I wasn't able at that time to do anything about those thoughts. Books were not readily available.
When I went to college my circumstances changed. My Dad bought me my first tarot deck. I don't know if he really knew what this was. I met Liz and Chan and some others. Liz taught me what she could. Chan took me to a metaphysical shop where I bought a necklace/amulet and a book. My first book on the Craft was Starhawk's "The Spiral Dance". For whatever reason things went on hold for me again.
Several years later I again got the Calling. It was a Barbie doll of all things. I had a remote control stand that looked like 2 hands. And I had posed my doll in the hands. It reminded me of The High Priestess tarot card. And I knew what I wanted to be. I read some books. I don't recall what they were. And I initiated myself as Wiccan. I had also read about the "year and a day" period. Things have not gone as planned.
Everytime I start to show any dedication to this path, something happens. And it probably doesn't help me that I am Solitary. I have no one to guide me. So I have been on my "year and a day" for over 20 years. I still feel like a novice. That's not to say that I haven't learned anything. I have learned. I know that Wicca is not entirely for me. I'm more eclectic. I pull in various concepts from various sources. And I have realized that I am a Witch.
I am determined to do things right. This is my Path. It's been interrupted far too many times. Admittedly my current situation doesn't lend itself to my needs. I cannot have an altar in a homeless shelter. I cannot create a Circle. And I can't go outside late at night to Draw Down the Moon. Curfew is at 9:00, though there is a smoke break at 10:00. I don't smoke but I could at least go outside, weather permitting.
If things go as planned, and I must believe they will, then my family will be out of here soon. Then I will be able to worship how I want. I am determined that I can and will follow this Path.
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