A Raven's Resolutions

I wonder how many people have abandoned their New Year's resolutions already... I'll be honest here - I haven't done very well. One particular resolution, which will remain private, has been broken already. The rest of my resolutions haven't even gotten started yet. I'm giving myself a week to get started before I really start kicking myself over this.


I want to post to my blog on a somewhat regular basis. This means, of course, breaking through this writer's block and coming up with interesting things to write about. This may be my most difficult resolution to keep. I want to write. I really do. I know that deep inside myself I am a writer. I just haven't been the same since I had my heart attack in 2009. It took my creativity away and I don't know how to get it back. This is why I thought I would blog. I thought this blog could be a sounding board of sorts for me. 


Another resolution involves taking ALL of my meds. I am horrible at using my inhaler. I take my pills, and I give myself my shots, but I just can't seem to use my inhaler like I'm supposed to. I also haven't been using my eye drops like I'm supposed to. This is probably my most important resolution to keep. 


More resolutions:

To work on my intuition so I can do a better job at reading Tarot/Oracle cards. I've collected decks for many, many years. But I still need to use the guide books. I have so much trouble interpreting the cards for myself. I have found a beautiful Tarot deck that seems to be perfect for me. I really want to work with this deck intuitively.

To budget better... Yeah, good luck with that. My husband and I are both too impulsive. We REALLY need to work on this one.

Some of my resolutions should probably remain vague. I need to work on my mental health. I have a wonderful therapist and psychiatrist. After decades of various meds, I'm finally on a combination that works for me. I still have bouts of depression and anxiety but I'm a lot better than I was before. 

I need to work on my physical health as well. Again, I have wonderful doctors and specialists looking out for me. Now I just need to look out more for myself. My heart failure, my asthma, my diabetes... I do what I can but I don't feel like I'm doing enough. (Refer back to using my inhaler like I'm supposed to...)


I'm already doubting myself though. Earlier today I got down on myself. I asked myself who was I kidding. I'll never change. I won't be able to keep these resolutions. I'll just be the same "me" that I've always been. As I said, that was earlier today. I'm feeling better about things now, especially after writing this out. 


Thank you for reading my first post of the new year.


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