Raven's Mom... Part 1

Today is the anniversary of my mom's death and I have so many mixed emotions. Of course I loved my mom. But if she wasn't my mom and was just some woman that I met, I wouldn't have liked her. She was racist and homophobic. And she was abusive. I have so many stories I could tell. I really don't know what to feel or think right now.

I've posted before about certain family members making me feel like I wasn't good enough. My mom was one of them. She was extremely controlling, even when I was in high school. I never got to be "myself". I had to be what she wanted me to be. Or at least attempt to be what she wanted. I couldn't rebel because in my high school years she was dying of cancer. Rebelling would have made things worse for her.

I never told my Dad how my mom abused me. She would smack me when I did something wrong or said the wrong thing. Once she hit me with my hairbrush. And she didn't care if there were people around. Like I said, I have stories that I could tell, but then this post would turn into a novella.

My mom passed away 5 minutes before Friday the 13th, my senior year of high school. That will always stick with me.

I will probably write more about my mom as a form of self therapy.

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