Depression & The Spider's Web

The darkness is calling me again. Damn, that sounds so melodramatic.

All these old negative feelings are coming back to haunt me. My depression is hitting again. I should really make an appointment and get back on my meds. I should. But there aren't many mental health facilities in my area. And the one I used to go to causes me anxiety. Isn't that ironic? Not because of the staff. It's because of some of the other clients.

I used to attend groups there. I hated it. I truly did. Some of the other clients got on my nerves so damn bad. I swear it was making me worse. And I really don't want to run into them again.

And now I've learned that my psychiatrist has left, so they'll have to set me up with someone else. I don't want a different doctor. I want my old doctor back.

So what do I do? Do I try to deal with this depression by myself? Or do I make that appointment and see a new doctor and risk running into people I'd rather not see again?
---------------------------------------------

            Spider's Web
I want this emptiness inside of me to fade away
strangle it in the spider's web
take me to another place
another time
where I can finally feel free
where I can finally be me
no more squandered chances
erase the self-doubt
make all the changes
do what I want
no lost hope of dreams gone bye
I want this emptiness inside of me to fade away
            ‎Wednesday, ‎May ‎18, ‎2011
                02:06:30 AM

Comments

  1. andreaJune 12, 2011 at 11:40 PM

    So sorry. I can feel your pain as if I am walking down that path with you. I take Cymbalta. Even with that, I am aware that the depression is lurking right below the surface. It still breaks out from time to time ready to pull me back under. You know, I know, that procrastination is one of the costumes depression cloaks itself with so please go to the appointment! It will be hard, but don't let depression win.

    ReplyDelete

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